What Do You Think?: Giving Compliments
Sunday, May 5, 2013 at 6:38PM
Lynda Rae in compliments, self-esteem

Source: careergirlnetwork.comWhat do you think about this scenario?

Cecelia and her friends are walking down the hall talking about the upcoming school play. They are excited because this year’s play will be the “Wizard of Oz.” The bell rings and Cecelia and all her friends split up and go to their different classes. As Cecelia walks to her math class, she stops and looks at the roster for the play. She sees that the lead part of Dorothy will be played by Sally. Cecelia has never talked to Sally, even though they sit near each other in a few classes and pass each other in the halls all the time.

When Cecelia gets to class she sits down next to Sally and feels like she should congratulate her on the leading part. Cecelia feels weird giving Sally a compliment since they don’t ever talk, and she normally only compliments her friends. But Cecelia taps Sally’s arm and says, “I saw you’re going to be Dorothy in the 'Wizard of Oz' play. Congratulations and break a leg. I’m sure you’ll be great.” Sally and Cecelia both smile.

Questions for Discussion:

1. How do you think this made Sally feel? Do you think it meant more to her coming from Cecelia rather than from a friend? Why or why not?

2. Do you ever compliment people you don’t know, or only friends and family? Why?

3. Can you remember the last time you got a good compliment? What was it about and how did that make you feel? How do you feel when you give a compliment?

4. Do you think compliments based on skill, like getting the lead in a play, are more meaningful that ones based on appearance, such as wearing a cute shirt? Why or why not?

5. What kind of compliments do you usually give? What kind do you usually get?

Factoids:

How Mentors Can Help

Resources:

"Teens Dish Out Compliments"
Teens hold a Compliment Day as a community service project

"Five Reasons to Stop Saying 'Good Job!'"
The difference between praise and unconditional love and support.

"The Know-it-all Generation"
Are we offering praise to the point of overkill?

"8 Best Ways to Treat Your Teens"
This practical parenting blog offers insights on building self esteem in teens.

Giving complements to teens with ADHD

"How to Take Compliments"

"Building Your Teenagers' Self-Esteem"

Article originally appeared on Fighting Back Mentor Program Resource Center (http://mentor-center.org/).
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